{9{A T H E   Q U A D R I G A   S T O R Y

{9{A            P A R T   I I


{5        By Slaine of Quadriga


{1In the last issue of Grapevine, you
(might!) have seen the article about
us.  Well, I decided that it was a tad
depressing, so now the modern Quadriga
is about to be revealed....


{A{4  A B O U T   T H E   M E M B E R S

{1We're lumbered with only ten members.
Here they are.

{6HAZARD: {1Rather nifty coder and the
unofficial leader.  He's also a rich
bast and his house is bigger than
everybody else's put together.  He
also can't stand having things
"ordinary".  His poor Amiga has been
chopped up and altered, more times
than Michael Jackson - the keyboard
has been dissected and the power LED
is somewhere in the diskdrive.  Hazard
was required to attend a drug
rehabilitation clinic for severe Kit
Kat abuse and at the peak of his
illness, could say "Have a break.
Have a Kit Kat" in over 50 languages.
He has since recovered, but whenever
someone tells him to "Have a break",
he breaks out in a cold sweat.  He
can type faster than a cheetah with
its arse on fire, but then, cats can't
type (Haha).  He drinks lager, too
(Eeeurgh!).

{6STINGER: {1Our second coder, Stinger is
a bit weird.  He lives in Belfast and
is still not dead.  How,I don't know,
but he's still going.  He tends to get
very not-drunk at parties, as he pours
his drink down the toilet when he
thinks we're not looking.  But we
know!  He's still a decent enough
bloke and he's not rich.  Poor Stinger
is usually the person that we beat in
Kick Off 2, but he's plagued by a
lamer called John, so we'll leave him
alone (he's also the baby of the group
and has a dog that shits on
everything).  He also gets stopped in
pubs (Hahaha!).

{6DAD 1916: {1Known by many names, in many
places (Dickhead, arsehole etc.), Dad
is our head swapper.  A good mate and
a bloody fine drinking companion, Dad
is notorious for taking breaks, he
drinks too much Guinness and he also
smokes far too much. He swaps
cigarettes with some people and very
foolishly goes around saying that
German fags are his favourite.  People
tend to stay away from Dad.  People
tend to run away from Dad!

{6HIGGY: {1Higgy is yet another of our
swapping team and is our only married
member, poor sod.  He resides in
Belfast and he's still alive too.
This poor man is starved of pubs and
when he came to Cork on his world
tour, he managed to drink more than
the rest of us put together, even
though he wasted three a cans of
Heineken over Dad's head.  Higgy also
thinks that he's good at Kick Off 2,
but he still gets merrily beaten by
everyone (Except Stinger, but that
goes without saying).

{6CYBORG: {1This man is yet another
swapper and is the only Quadriga
member that doesn't drink.  Yet
another Kick Off 2 fan, he once called
into me, but promptly received a sound
thrashing.  Yes, he is also crap at
it.  He is the only person that swaps
with the Pope, or so he says.  Our
Cyborg is a self confessed lazy
bastard and sometimes tries to do
graphics.  He shouldn't give up the
day job though.

{6MC JAZZ: {1MC Jazz,is without doubt,the
finest musician in his house.  Living
in Finland, he must have been hard up
for a group, as he joined us.  The
man responsible for the dynamic tunes
in our music disk, Acoustic Silence,
the poor chap is now slaving away at
school.  He does his music on a
souped-up A2000, so I hate him
desperately!

{6CANCER: {1Not just a terminal illness,
but the other half of our Finnish
team.  He goes to the same school as
MC Jazz, so there must be something
wrong over there.  He is one of our
GFX trio and says that he can now
code, but only time will tell!  He is
also responsible for such infamous
jingles as "You don't ask for power -
you take it" and that all time
classic, "Quadriga is the Shadow in
the Darkness", Ahem!

{6KHUL: {1Khul is our newest member and is
yet another coder.  He is English, but
his family saw the light and moved to
Ireland.  For some very strange
reason, he actually wanted to join
Quadriga, hmm.  He likes Sensible
Soccer, but we try not to hold that
against him.  He also seems to be
into chess and fantasy books.
Quadriga, the only group to possess an
intellectual Elven coder!

{6SLAINE: {1Words alone cannot describe
Slaine.  Yes they can, overweight,
underpaid and short!  He is
responsible for the vast majority of
Quadriga's GFX, so now you know who to
laugh at.  He also swaps with a few
people and is the person who recruits
the new members.  He is the best Kick
Off player in the group, beating
Stinger (Of all people!) in the
Quadriga Kick Off tournament in May.
But that doesn't say much.  He drinks
the worlds greatest beverage, Bulmers
Vintage cider and drinks quite a
lot of it at that.  In fact, there
might be a can in the fridge...

{6MAD AL: {1Last and fairly least, Al is
the third of our trio of artists,and
is also our only other member (that we
know of!), that has his own wee
family.  Al is also a Guinness fan and
also drinks far too much of it.  He
also tends to beat people who annoy
him, into the ground.  This is
unfortunate, as he is easily annoyed.
In fact, i'm not looking forward to
when he sees this!

  Actually, I have seen it Slaine.
  Come `ere.
  (Smack!)
  Aargh!
  Oh look!  Hey Hazard!  Have a look
  at this!)
  (Boot!)
  Eeek!
  What's that Al?  Eh?  Hey!  Come
  back, ya little shit!
  (Crunch!)
  Urrgh!

I am now out of hospital.  The wounds
are healing slowly, but I should
regain the ability to walk in a year
or too.  If you wanna join the elite
gang of misfits as described above,
write to, errm, one of the misfits
described above.  Now i'd better tell
you about one of our new releases
coming soon, before I get into even
more trouble.  (Dad 1916 - Impossible-
you're in too much trouble  already!)
Oh dear!


{A{4    T H E   C L A S S I F I E D S

{1Well, about this mysterious new
production.  Its a mini diskmag called
"The Classifieds" and its basically a
contacts mag.  It will not feature
articles (Yet?), but it will contain
free advertising for all.  Just tap
out your ad, similar format to GV (22
high, 38 wide) but no colours as yet.
If Stinger gets the colour feature
going, we will add the colours
ourselves.  You can also send in any
messages you want to give to your
contacts, for example;


FROM: The members of Quadriga
  TO: Slaine / Quadriga

You haven't escaped yet.  You are a
dead man.  When we catch you, we'll
rip out your eyeballs and Stinger's
dog will shit all over them.  And
then...


I think you get the message.  So send
in your ad and message and you'll get
your disk back (Of course), with the
latest copy of The Classifieds on it.
You can send as many messages as you
like, but only five ads per person.
Rather generous eh?  Also, as its a
contacts mag, no sales ads please!
Remember, its completely free and your
disk is returned, so there's nothing
to lose! (A contribution towards
postage would be highly appreciated!)

There are also printed "Classifieds"
forms being circulated, so you can
alternatively send your gear in on one
of them, but you don't get your copy
of The Classifieds as fast, as you
have to wait for one of your contacts
to send it to you! Send to;


               Slaine,
         27 Harbour View Rd,
            Knocknaheeny,
              Cork City,
         Republic of Ireland

                  Or

               Stinger,
       24 Whitecliff Crescent,
               Belfast,
               BT12 7JR
          Northern Ireland


That's about it from this rather crap
article.  Thanks for taking the time
to read this crap! (Higgy - You little
crawler!)  It cost me six months in
physio-therapy, but it was worth it,
NOT!
                                 end.